Death Eaters Are SPOOKY!
by The Werewolf Mage
Summary: Snape gets the fun job of teaching first years something that is rather obvious.


Title: Death Eaters Are SPOOKY!

Summary: Snape gets the fun job of teaching first years something that is rather obvious.

**Note: Just a simple, silly little one-shot. It's not Harry's class but of course Snape is teaching so it's around Harry's time. It's meant to be pointless, stupid, funny, and obvious! Enjoy!**

Severus Snape sighed loudly as he stood outside the doors to the nearest empty classroom. Dumbledore, in the times of war among wizardkind drawing nearer and nearer, decided that the students must be warned what to look out for.

And Snape had the pleasant task of talking to the firsties.

Twisting his mouth into his favorite sneer, he pushed the door open and entered the classroom. The first years, every single one in the entire school, were huddled together, watching him. They all seemed so wide-eyed and frightened.

But of course Snape knew he was frightening to most students.

He stopped at the front of the classroom and stood surveying the students. He did not direct them to sit down and figured if he did they wouldn't have sat anyway.

Instead, he began to speak.

"As I'm sure even children your age realize, this is a dark time in the wizarding world. The Headmaster has instructed that I get through your thick skulls that Death Eaters -- "

"Death Eaters are spooky!"

Snape tried to find the child who interrupted him. It was a small redheaded child, whose large green eyes were wide with fear. He nodded.

"My dad told me so!" he added, as though the fact that his father telling him so made this fact... fact.

"'Spooky'," Snape began, "is one way to describe them. I suppose."

"They're really terrifying!" The speaker was now a small blonde girl, whose curly hair bounced as she nodded her head. "They're got big teeth!" she added.

"And beards!" whispered the redheaded girl beside her. She covered her hand with her mouth looking horrified.

Snape could merely look quizzically at this little girl. 'Beards?' he wondered, knowing that by now his menacing sneer was gone and replaced with a very confused expression.

"And they do bad magic!" said a girl with brown hair. She was wearing Hufflepuff robes and clutching the hand of another Hufflepuff. Obviously her twin.

"Indeed they do." Snape managed to say, all the while wondering how exactly Dumbledore had talked him to speaking to the first years.

In his silence the students had begun to shout out their own fears about the Death Eaters.

"They're a hundred feet tall!"

"They eat children!"

"Don't be stupid! They only eat BAD children!"

"They eat BOYS!"

As he listened to this accusations, Snape was torn between the desire to laugh, and the desire to cross the room and beat his head against the desk.

Instead, he cleared his throat. Certain that there was no getting through to these children, he said, "Very well. I see you understand that Death Eaters are undesirable and you should do what you can to avoid them at all costs. Dismissed."

Later on in the day Dumbledore caught Snape out in the halls. "Did you speak with the first years?" the Headmaster asked.

Snape shook his head. "Oh no. I didn't have to do much speaking to get them to understand that Death Eaters are spooky."

Dumbledore looked confused for a brief second, then laughed. "Spooky, Severus?" he asked.

"Oh yes. No matter what I say they believe that Death Eaters are spooky. So I can't imagine the children would want to speak time with one. I let them go ahead to their lessons."

"Good job Severus."

Snape merely grunted in reply. Spooky! These children thought they were simply spooky!

It was as though Dumbledore knew what he was thinking. And he most likely did. "Despite using a word like 'spooky' they are rather wise children. Don't dwell on it Severus."

"Right. I taught them. But do me a favor? Next time you want to give them life lessons, get someone else to do it."

And with that, Snape headed towards his office for a nice glass of Firewhiskey.


End file.
